For over a decade now, I have suffered (and I mean really suffered) with adult acne. It peaked for the first time during my first pregnancy, making it hard to accept a post-baby body, even if I was lucky enough to lose the weight very quickly. After 6 months of Accutane, it was under control for a few years. Of course, by under control I mean that I always had a few blemishes at any given time.
Last summer, while on vacation, my skin became extremely oily and from that point on...things went from bad to worse. The few regular blemishes became painful red bumps, my pores were totally clogged, my face hurt... it was physically painful and even more painful to look at myself in the mirror.
While I know acne is not a life threatening disease, when you are 35 and have red spots all over your face and neck, it is psychologically damaging. When your daughters cringe when they look at you and your husband refrains from kissing you because he can feel the zits all around your mouth it's really, really hard to feel beautiful.
I was desperate. I felt like I was buried under an acne mask, like no one could see me under all those layers of redness.
I am not too keen on antibiotics but I finally got an appointment with a dermatologist who got me on medication. Now, just a few weeks later, I feel as if I am resurfacing. The redness is, for the most part, gone. The bumps and zits have almost all disappeared. My skin feels so much smoother and, best of all, I feel so much better about myself.
I don't know what will happen when I stop taking the meds... but for now, I am feeling pretty darn good about myself and that, I think, plays a very important role in being a good mom. Now, when my daughters tell me I am beautiful, I smile, I thank them, but most of all, I finally believe them again!
