I love my couch but...

Oh yeah, now I can really feel myself slowly but surely bouncing back... I have to say, I love my life! I appreciate the little things like grocery shopping, cleaning, and laundry. The fact that I can actually do them and finally keep babygirl's drawer full of clean underwear again are a good sign!
Let's face it, when mom is out of order, the whole house is out of order! There are two ways of interpreting that: one can get frustrated (which if you ask me is a viable option) or one can feel important, useful, irreplaceable... OK, I may be pushing things a little too far with irreplaceable but you know what I mean right?
Sadly, while I was flat on my back worrying about the dust bunnies rolling on the floor, I realized that the girls don't really understand how mom can be forced to physically pause. It seems that they expect me to do everything even when it is physically impossible and their increasing frustration level as the days and weeks went by proved just that. I guess it's up to me to stop doing everything for them. It's at least worth a try. From now on, new house rules. Mom is mom, not a servant. I am determined to teach the girls (especially biggirl) a thing or two when it comes to taking care of themselves even if I hope I will never, ever, be forced to spend another day on my couch again!

I haven't forgotten my promise

I have been longing to write for the past 3 weeks but, for the first time ever I have been spending more time lying on my back than up and about. After countless doctor visits, we're blaming it on vertebral pain due to bad posture (I am sitting nice and straight in front of my screen, feet flat on the floor today!) I have put my trust in physical therapy and am feeling a little better but I am so not myself yet!
The best way to interpret the last couple of weeks is to consider them a wake-up call. The blame has bounced back and forth between stress, my husband's travels, my argumentative daughters, and my hectic schedule... Being the mature, responsible adult that I am (and since I have had a lot of time to think about it), I have realized that I am the only one with the power to change the situation. Let's face it, my husband is always going to travel for work, my daughters are going to continue to compete and argue about everything (at least for a few more years anyways), and my schedule will always be full (because I like it that way). Soooo...that leaves me with one last variable: my stress level.
I have been trying breathing exercises and have finally started walking again (which is my alltime fav thing to do, especially with my dog). Plus, I plan to buy a yoga DVD next time I go shopping. I might even try it with the girls, who knows, it might help them too! Let's face it, I will never be a "no worries" kind of girl, but maybe, just maybe, I can learn to relax a little more. Yet another goal I have set for myself with you as my witnesses!

Rain, rain, go away!

Okay, I'm trying to be positive about this rainy week but I must admit it is getting the best of me. This was the view outside my window today and, unless they are very wrong, it will be the view tomorrow, and the day after that too. Not a pleasant sight!
Luckily, it stopped pouring long enough for us to go for a brief walk with Zoey, our highly energetic Boston Terrier puppy. We even spotted a few bright yellow daffodils!
I am always impressed by how everything comes back to life in springtime. It never ceases to amaze me. It may be part of the reason why I love walking so much. What better way to notice the grass turning green and each new flower sprouting out of the ground? Now if the rain would just stop already!!! I really, really want to go for a long power walk tomorrow since the girls will be back in school... and trust me, so does Zoey!

Was this Easter Bunny's last visit?

It's a tradition my mother loved when I was little that I take very seriously. The night before Easter I hide tiny little chocolate eggs (all the ones I haven't eaten to fulfill my chocolate cravings that is)throughout the house. Come Easter morning, I almost stop breathing when I hear the girls get up... I love listening to babygirl's little feet race across the floor, going from room to room to evaluate the Easter Bunny's generosity. Biggirl follows her pointing out each overlooked treat, having every bit as much fun as her younger counterpart!
It's one of my favorite motherhood perks. Biggirl wanted to help me hide them this year. I refused, worried it would be too obvious that she knew where they were come morning. Anyways, as my husband pointed out to her, that role is mine all mine, I just enjoy it soooo much! I think I will continue even when she figures out that the Easter Bunny and mom are much closer than she ever imagined!

Resurfacing

For over a decade now, I have suffered (and I mean really suffered) with adult acne. It peaked for the first time during my first pregnancy, making it hard to accept a post-baby body, even if I was lucky enough to lose the weight very quickly. After 6 months of Accutane, it was under control for a few years. Of course, by under control I mean that I always had a few blemishes at any given time.
Last summer, while on vacation, my skin became extremely oily and from that point on...things went from bad to worse. The few regular blemishes became painful red bumps, my pores were totally clogged, my face hurt... it was physically painful and even more painful to look at myself in the mirror.
While I know acne is not a life threatening disease, when you are 35 and have red spots all over your face and neck, it is psychologically damaging. When your daughters cringe when they look at you and your husband refrains from kissing you because he can feel the zits all around your mouth it's really, really hard to feel beautiful.
I was desperate. I felt like I was buried under an acne mask, like no one could see me under all those layers of redness.
I am not too keen on antibiotics but I finally got an appointment with a dermatologist who got me on medication. Now, just a few weeks later, I feel as if I am resurfacing. The redness is, for the most part, gone. The bumps and zits have almost all disappeared. My skin feels so much smoother and, best of all, I feel so much better about myself.
I don't know what will happen when I stop taking the meds... but for now, I am feeling pretty darn good about myself and that, I think, plays a very important role in being a good mom. Now, when my daughters tell me I am beautiful, I smile, I thank them, but most of all, I finally believe them again!

Call it spring training

The girls are home for six (yes 6!) complete days due to Easter break. Every year, I call this period Mommy's Spring Training. Even if we are just a half-day into the break, I have already, once again, realized I will need a plan, and a good one at that, for summer vacation. The only way to prevent constant nagging and arguing around here seems to be to keep them very, very busy! I already have morning activities scheduled, we just have to write the big fat checks to all the sport associations and Monday to Friday mornings will be covered. That will leave afternoons... hmmm. Maybe I should put biggirl to the test and have her in charge of entertaining and watching babygirl for a few hours after lunch so I can get some work done. It's worth a try anyways! The only thing is that babygirl is the one who needs the least entertainment. I know very well that after a morning of scheduled activities, she will need time in her bubble (alone in her room that is). Biggirl on the other hand needs non-stop entertainment and I have a serious problem with her being plopped in front of the television for two hours (but she would have absolutely no problem with that!)
Regardless of how everything works out, I hope to be free by 3 p.m. to jump in our brand smacking new pool with them. After all, Quebec summers are far too short, we have to splash around while we can!

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